We named the baby Micah. I believe I will see him or her in heaven one day, and it was important to me for the baby to have a name. Here is a note I wrote during this time:
November 9, 2004
Dear Micah,
Today I would have celebrated 10 weeks of pregnancy. Instead, I mourn the heartbeat I was never allowed to hear and the announcement that was not made to family and friends. I wish I could have been given even a glance of your face. I long to have held you – even if only for a moment. I want you to know how much I love you.
Some do not understand how much it hurts to lose an unborn child, but my grief is great. The comfort I have comes from trusting in a God Who knows and loves me. He is here with me, helping me through each day. Your dad is a wonderful man, too. He sent flowers to my school today because he knew how much I missed you – especially today.
I know you are in a much better place, and it is selfish of me to wish you were here on earth. I just want you to know how much you are wanted and loved. You will always hold a very special place in my heart, a heart softened by deep sorrow. I look forward to the day when I will at last see your beautiful face and embrace you for the first time. Heaven has become even more desirable because you are there. Until then, I will continue living each day in God’s strength. Don’t forget how much I love you.
Your Mom,
Janel
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