When the Words Won't Come

Autumn’s a little “off” right now.  Can’t say for sure what caused it.  Could be the medicine we gave her for her cough.  Could just be the natural ebb and flow of things.

Night before last, she was crying in her sleep again.  Yesterday, she wasn’t walking as well as usual.  This morning, she was having a hard time communicating.

It’s made me reflect on just how far we’ve come over the years and be thankful.

She’s always had difficulty expressing wants and needs – especially if she’s upset.  But, after five years of working on this, we’ve finally had a breakthrough this past year.  This morning, though, she was having a hard time finding her words.

It began with her crying because she was ready for breakfast (although she’d never once asked for something to eat) and progressed to her hiding on the porch in the fetal position.  Once her egg was ready I got her back inside the house, and she cried because she wanted a waffle.  (Not that she every actually said this.  I just figured it out.  I’ve become very good at mind reading.)  While eating her waffle, I started brushing her hair.  That was a mistake.  With her sensory processing problems, touch has always been a big trigger for her.  Some days I can brush her hair with no major problems, most days she at least whines.  Many days, she fights and protests loudly.  Today, instead of screaming, she sat at the table, crying huge crocodile tears.  I knew she was having a rough morning, so I gave her a minute to herself and then pulled her into my lap and rocked her a minute to help her settle back down.  It has to be frustrating for her to be communicating well for a while and then have a day where she just can’t get her thoughts to form into words.

It reminded me of Romans 8:26, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.”

There are times when I go to pray that I just don’t know what to say.  It may be that I’ve asked for the same things so many times that I just can’t find a new way to express it.  Or maybe it’s a situation in which I don’t know what I should even be praying for.  Regardless of the situation, it is comforting to know that just like we’re here to help Autumn when she can’t express what she needs, God’s Spirit is here to intercede for me when my words have run dry.

…And He’s a much better mind reader than I’ll ever be.

Janel