...BUT GOD...

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."  Psalm 73:26

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer.  (2 Samuel 22:2)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...restores my soul.  (Psalm 23:3)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  (Hebrews 13:8)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...renews my strength.  He gives me wings like the eagles'.  He makes me walk and not faint.  (Isaiah 40:  28-31)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...gives me songs in the night.  (Psalm 42:8, 77:6)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...is a mighty one who will save.  (Zeph. 3:17)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...will quiet me with His love.  (Zeph. 3:17)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...is interceding for me.  (Romans 8:26, 27, 34)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...will never leave me or forsake me.  (Hebrews 13:5)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...came so I could have life, and have it more abundantly.  (John 10:10)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...is my salvation.  (Ps. 62:7, Isaiah 12:2)

My flesh and my heart may fail, BUT GOD...

"Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation."  Isaiah 12:2

Janel

Camping at Stone Mountain

Our Give Kids the World Passport expires this month, so we're trying to squeeze in a few more trips before it's gone.  We wanted to stay the night, so we could visit one attraction on Saturday and another on Sunday.  We didn't have much money to spend on lodging, so we decided to CAMP!  Yes, this was REAL camping - in a tent.

After our 3-4 hour trip to Stone Mountain Park (just east of Atlanta, GA), we checked in and set up camp for the night.

From there, we headed over to the Crossroads Area where the paid attractions are located.  They had provided us with free parking going into the park, and we each received wristbands that got us into almost all of the paid attractions.

The kids had a blast at the Camp Highland Outpost - a low ropes course with a zip line.

We had a great time riding the Summit Skyride to the top of Stone Mountain.

It was gorgeous up there.  Wish we'd had more time to just sit and take in the view.

Their Pumpkin Festival was underway, so the kids had fun "dressing" pumpkins and making fall crafts.

Other things we enjoyed:  Geyser Towers, The Great Barn, and the Scenic Railroad.

Our day of fun ended with the Lasershow Spectacular - a laser light show with a few fireworks.

So, how did we make it camping with two kids with multiple food allergies & intolerances - one of whom is on a feeding tube - and all with no electricity or frig?

We packed lots of millet bread, rice cakes, rice cereal, etc.  Then, we figured out how we could charge Silas' feeding pump overnight.  We have a battery charger (for a car).  It has a cigarette-type outlet on it.  We plugged in an adapter that converts from the cigarette outlet to a regular outlet.  Then, we could plug the charger for the feeding pump into that.  It worked even better then we'd hoped!

car charger to left, followed by adapter, then charger, then pump...

The next morning, the kids played by the lake and fed the ducks while Criss an I tried to pack everything back up.

We had a great spot.  See Stone Mountain in the background?

I learned a lot of neat information about the monadnock (yes, it's not technically a mountain) while visiting the park.  It's a five mile walk around the base, and there's one trail you can take to the top that's about 1 mile long.  It's nearly 600 acres in size.  The carving itself covers 3 acres (larger than 2 football fields) - with Robert E. Lee being 9 stories high.  Wow!  Even when you're standing there looking at it, it's hard to fathom how massive it is.

Beyond this, there is much more underground.  One of the tour guides mentioned that what we see is just 10% of what's there.  90% of it is underground!

It made me think of the greatness of God.  How the little we can see can be so difficult for us to comprehend at times, and there's SO much more that we can't even "see" yet.  So much more to know.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known."  I Corinthians 13:12

To Our Great God...

Janel

The Trees

As I drive through our storm ravaged area, one thing that stands out to me is the trees.  There is a road near our house that has the most magnificent trees.  I don’t even know what kind they are, but they’re definitely not spindly little pine trees or anything of that sort.  Massive in height and width, they have strong branches that stretch powerfully to the sky.  Just their presence makes you feel secure and at peace.  They would make a beautiful portrait in their own merit.

However, many of them have been damaged by the recent storms.  What used to be so beautiful is now only a remnant of its former glory.  Some were knocked over – roots and all ripped from the ground.  Others were snapped in two or mangled beyond recognition.  Most of their leaves are now beginning to turn brown from the lack of water as they lay helpless on the ground.

What struck me today as I drove by the trees is how much I can relate to them.  I’ll try to describe it to you using a couple quotes from the movie, My Sister’s Keeper.  If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a girl who’s dying of cancer and her family.  The first time I saw it, I cried through the entire movie because I could relate so much to their feelings.  I think anyone who has a child (or children) with a chronic illness can relate to them.

Here’s a line from the opening scene:

Since my sister got sick, things have changed.  Aunt Kelly only works part time, and mom quit her job as a lawyer.  Her life now revolves around keeping Kate alive.  Cooking and cleaning – everything steamed, organic, and germ free.  I guess you could say that we’re a little dysfunctional, but everybody loves each other, and we do the best we can.

Dad speaking (two separate occasions):

Having a child who is sick is a fulltime occupation.  Sure, we still enjoy the day to day happinesses of family life - big house, great kids, beautiful wife.  But beneath the exterior there are cracks – resentments, alliances that threaten the very foundation of our lives.  As at any moment our whole world could come tumbling down.

Well, I think we’ve all been perverted by the mechanics of just keeping Katie alive sometimes.  I’m sure we’re all broken in ways we don’t even understand yet.

The daughter makes a scrapbook for her family.  These are some of her thoughts:

This is it.  I know I’m going to die now. 

I supposed I’ve always known that.

 I just never knew when. 

And I’m okay with it…really.

 I don’t mind my disease killing me. 

But it’s killing my family too…

I’m sorry, Jesse. 

I’m sorry I took all of the attention

when you were the one who needed it the most.

Dad, I know I took your first love from you. 

I only hope that one day you get her back.

Mom, you gave up everything for me: 

your work, your marriage, your entire life –

just to fight my battles for me every single day.

 I’m sorry you couldn’t win.

Having kids with chronic health problems is not just about the times when they’re terribly sick.  It’s also about the good days.  You savor every moment of them.  At the same time, it’s like dancing on egg shells.  You are so careful not to allow anything to cross their paths that might cause them even the slightest relapse.  It’s a 24/7 job that never goes away – like walking an infinite tight rope… an endless sea of broken trees.

As I passed by the trees today, another thought also came to mind.  I was reading in Isaiah a few days ago, and one phrase in particular jumped out at me.  I wasn’t sure why at the time, but as I drove, God brought it back to my mind.

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor;

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

to grant to those who mourn in Zion –

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord,

that he may be glorified.” 

Isaiah 63:1-3

After looking at the verse again, I decided to dust off my Strong’s Concordance and do a little research.  I wanted to look at the word called.  Other words the concordance used were proclaim, pronounce, say.  Although my “tree” right now is feeling battered and torn, God can look past it all and proclaim or pronounce me to be an oak of righteousness for His glory.  I find something very beautiful and comforting in those words.

I will leave you with the lyrics to a song I love right now:

“Blessings” by Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Janel

When the Words Won't Come

Autumn’s a little “off” right now.  Can’t say for sure what caused it.  Could be the medicine we gave her for her cough.  Could just be the natural ebb and flow of things.

Night before last, she was crying in her sleep again.  Yesterday, she wasn’t walking as well as usual.  This morning, she was having a hard time communicating.

It’s made me reflect on just how far we’ve come over the years and be thankful.

She’s always had difficulty expressing wants and needs – especially if she’s upset.  But, after five years of working on this, we’ve finally had a breakthrough this past year.  This morning, though, she was having a hard time finding her words.

It began with her crying because she was ready for breakfast (although she’d never once asked for something to eat) and progressed to her hiding on the porch in the fetal position.  Once her egg was ready I got her back inside the house, and she cried because she wanted a waffle.  (Not that she every actually said this.  I just figured it out.  I’ve become very good at mind reading.)  While eating her waffle, I started brushing her hair.  That was a mistake.  With her sensory processing problems, touch has always been a big trigger for her.  Some days I can brush her hair with no major problems, most days she at least whines.  Many days, she fights and protests loudly.  Today, instead of screaming, she sat at the table, crying huge crocodile tears.  I knew she was having a rough morning, so I gave her a minute to herself and then pulled her into my lap and rocked her a minute to help her settle back down.  It has to be frustrating for her to be communicating well for a while and then have a day where she just can’t get her thoughts to form into words.

It reminded me of Romans 8:26, “The Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groaning too deep for words.”

There are times when I go to pray that I just don’t know what to say.  It may be that I’ve asked for the same things so many times that I just can’t find a new way to express it.  Or maybe it’s a situation in which I don’t know what I should even be praying for.  Regardless of the situation, it is comforting to know that just like we’re here to help Autumn when she can’t express what she needs, God’s Spirit is here to intercede for me when my words have run dry.

…And He’s a much better mind reader than I’ll ever be.

Janel

Quote of the Day

“Any idiot can handle a crisis;

it’s the day-to-day living that wears you out.”

~Anton Chekhov

Ran across this yesterday, and just had to share it.  So true...

Autumn’s EEG & EKG are scheduled for May 17.

Janel

Lessons Learned from a Closet

Who would have thought that the things lurking in my closets could give great insights into my soul?  But they certainly did.  In my last post, I shared my recent efforts to get organized.  Just organizing things, though, is rarely all that needs to be done.  The most difficult part of the process can be deciding what things to keep and which things it’s time to let go.

I think the real problem is the dreams that many of those unused things represent.

Before Criss and I had kids, we thought we wanted to have four of them.  Now that we have two kids with chronic health problems, even two seems like too many at times.  As I start packing up old baby items from the closets and attic to be given away, it seems to not just be the items that I’m putting into the box but instead the dreams of many happy, healthy children running around the house.  It’s also letting go of the hopes of a fun pregnancy (I was sick the entire time I carried Silas) as well as the hopes of a “happy baby” – one that doesn’t scream in agonizing pain for the first three or four years of his life - one of those quiet babies that you can take anywhere and he just sleeps through the whole thing.

One closet held a small radio intended to be used in bad weather.  It didn’t hold much value to anyone but me.  It was given to me by my grandmother – my “Wichita Granny” who I fondly remember playing with as a child – my Granny who I will never see again on this earth.

My bedroom closet is home to many different sizes of clothing.  When we lose weight, it’s relatively easy to give away the larger sizes – vowing we will never return to that place again.  Yet, it is much more difficult to get rid of the smaller sizes.  When we do, we feel that we’re somehow letting go of the dream of ever returning to that size again.

Another closet held the supplies we had left from Silas’ 2 ½ week stay in the hospital that sent us home with no real answers and an NG tube.  Just looking at the spare NG tube brings back vivid memories of the three adults it took to hold him down while a nurse shoved the tube down his nose and into his stomach.

And there’s more to come.  I haven’t gotten to all of the kitchen cabinets yet.  That will lead me to spaces overflowing with cookbooks filled with recipes I had dreamed of making for my family – the dream family that is able to eat anything I cook (and not end up sick for days afterward).

The problem is that when I hang on to these items, there’s very little space left for the items I actually do need.  In the same way, refusing to let go of the dreams they represent prevents me from enjoying the life I am actually living.

I may never have a “happy baby” or four healthy kids, but I do have a little boy who has such a big heart for others.  I also have the opportunity (through adoption) to change the life a little girl who otherwise may have never received proper medical care or the embrace of a loving family.

I also know that when I pack away the little radio, I am not losing the wonderful memories I have of my grandmother playing hopscotch with me in the driveway.

As I pack away smaller sizes of clothing, I am not giving up my dream of being that size again – only accepting who I am today and choosing to give the clothes to someone who can actually use them before they go out of style or are eaten by moths.

I throw away the old medical supplies choosing to not dwell on past hurts and pain – choosing instead to focus on how far we’ve come.

In packing up these items, I am putting into action my heart’s desire to follow God wherever He leads.  He may chose to one day give those dreams back to me or instead give me new dreams.  Either way, I (and my closets) choose to embrace the life He has given me today.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old.  Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”  Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)

“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.  For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?’”  Luke 9:23-25

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”  Matthew 6:19-21

Janel

A Place For Everything...

…And Everything In Its Place.

I’ve always considered myself to be pretty organized.  I know some people get an adrenaline rush from running, etc.  I get a rush from organizing things.  I jump at any excuse to make a chart in Excel.  And, I have a friend who loves to tell people how I would (as a child) organize her closet for her every time I came to her house.

On the other hand, I can’t stand cleaning.  Dusting is on the list of the things I dislike most in life.  It may in part be due to the fact that I don’t like cleaning around clutter.  I have to pick everything up first and then clean.  By the time I’m done putting everything away, I’m exhausted already – especially now that we have children.  I’m not sure why I didn’t inherit my mother’s cleaning gene.  She absolutely loves to vacuum.  (Hi mom!  I’m sure you’ll be reading this.)

I used to be a “binge” organizer.  When I was teaching elementary school, I would take the first few weeks of summer break and go through all of the cabinets, closets, files, etc. in the house and get everything back in its place.  I would also use Christmas break to work on some small projects in need of help.  Something about having everything organized around me makes me feel more organized on the inside as well.  The opposite can also happen.  When things are unorganized all around me, I feel all frazzled and out of sorts on the inside.

Since having kids, my entire system of keeping the house organized had fallen apart.  So much time was spent on their health issues that cleaning out closets was no where near the top of the list of things I needed to focus on.  However, things have been a bit more settled lately, and I’m trying to use the time to develop a new system.  The days of having two full weeks free to declutter the house are long gone, so I’m developing a plan for working on one closet/drawer/cabinet/etc. per week – more as I have time.

In the midst of this process, I read a book by Marcia Ramsland entitled Simplify Your Life.  It was just the motivation I needed to help me develop a plan for this new season in life.  I have gotten SO many things done the past few months.  It will still take some time to make it through all the nooks and crannies, but I finally feel like I will get to it all – and before the kids leave for college.

Another good resource for getting organized is FlyLady.  While I don’t follow all of her plan, she has a lot of good thoughts and resources.  Some of my favorite FlyLady quotes:

“You can’t organize clutter.  You can only get rid of it.”

“Only keep things that make you SMILE!”

I’ve had a little extra motivation the past couple weeks since the Children’s Ministry at our church is having a yard sale to raise money for this summer’s Kids’ Camp.  I’ve already taken four different loads of things to donate.  I cleaned out the hall closets over the weekend, and I cleared out enough stuff that an entire shelf is empty at the moment.  Oh the joy!  Still trying to decide what will become of the newly found space.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: …  a time to keep, and a time to cast away.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6

Hope you will take time this week to do something you enjoy.

Janel

Customer Service

I had a nice surprise this morning.  Criss said, “I forgot.  You got something in the mail yesterday,” and he handed me a large envelope.  When I saw who it was from, I felt a sense of relief – one more thing I can mark off my to do list.  It was my Alabama teaching certificate.  It was going to expire last year, so I took two classes to get the hours I needed for its renewal.  I sent everything in last September but never heard back from them.  I called to check on it last week, and they sent it without any further hassles.

I was actually surprised it went so well.  I seem to have a lot of problems finding good customer service these days.  I generally dread anything that involves calling a customer service representative.  Some of them just aren’t very friendly, and sometimes they are friendly, but the problem never gets fixed.  Let me give you a few examples…  (Hang in there with me.  I do have a point at the end of all this.)

Last summer, I flew to Virginia to take the classes I needed to renew my teaching certificate.  (Why I had to fly to Virginia to take the classes is a rabbit trail for another day.)  When I got back, my luggage wasn’t there.  They had put it on the wrong plane.  They assured me that it would be there in a few hours, and they would bring it to my house.  Several hours came and went, and I had not seen my luggage.  Over the course of two days, I called numerous times.  First they had no idea where my luggage was.  Then, they would tell me it would by at my house by this time, or by that time.  In the end, I finally got my luggage but what a hassle!!!

Just last week, there was another incident.  Silas had several DNA tests run last year.  The insurance (let’s refer to them at XYZ insurance company) has not decided whether or not they are going to pay for some of them.  I called XYZ to see what I could do to help the process along.  They needed notes from the doctor.  I called the doctor’s office, told them what I needed, and hoped for the best.  A week later, I had not heard from XYZ or the doctor’s office.  I called XYZ again.  The lady that helped me the first time wasn’t available, so I had to speak with someone else.  She couldn’t find the records from the doctor.  So, I called the doctor’s office.  They had sent the records a few days before.  The insurance company should have them.  I called XYZ again and this time was able to talk to the person that had helped me originally.  The doctor’s office had faxed the information but had not put our contract number on it.  It was sitting on the lady’s desk because she did not know whose it was.  Now, all this doesn’t even include the time I spent sending them information at the time the test was done.  So, one letter and at least five phone calls later, they now have what they need to process the claim…I hope.

This just seems to be the course of my life.  Things that should be simple end up taking days…weeks…months to resolve.  I am always pleasantly surprised when I have a nice experience with someone in customer service.  Chick-fil-A, Publix, and Target are the first to come to mind.  Even if I have to spend more money on an item, I sometimes visit one of these places just because I know they generally treat me a little more kindly than other places I’ve visited.  No matter how they feel that day, the employees at Chick-fil-A are trained to respond with certain phrases such as “How may I serve you today?”  What a nice change from the rest of the world.  At Publix, I can always find someone to help me find the item I’m looking for.  They never act annoyed that I’ve bothered them, and they will walk across the store to help me find what I need.  Target is one of my new favorites.  I was standing in a line at Christmas – not too long, but there were several people.  Someone walked up and kindly said, “Let me open a register for you.”  I nearly fell over!  In the many years I’ve shopped at “the other store,” no one has ever done that for me.

Now to my point.  At church this past weekend, several of the messages were about reaching the lost and the difficult to love.  It got me thinking.  This world is such a harsh place – often filled with so much unkindness and disappointment.  People long for someone just to be nice to them.  And when they run across someone who is, it is not quickly forgotten.  I think that’s why love is mentioned so much in the gospels.  That should be what makes Christians stand out from those around us.  It’s not that we have it all figured out or never make mistakes.  It’s that we live lives that exemplify the love of Christ to those we come in contact with every day.  In a way, we are God’s customer service representatives here on earth.  He has chosen for us to be His hands and feet, meeting the needs of those around us.

John 13:35 states, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  If others were to evaluate their experiences with us, what kind of rating would we get?

Janel

Our House of Cards

I’ve decided our life is like a house of cards.  Do you remember ever building one?  It takes a bit of skill.  You finally think you’ve got the hang of it and then someone bumps the table or a breeze blows through, and you’re back at square one again.

With years of practice, we’ve gotten better at constructing our house of cards.  We put barriers around the table to keep it from getting bumped.  We attempt to ward away the breezes.  We’ve even become more skilled in our “building” techniques.  So, when our “house” gets knocked over, each time we know a little better what to do differently the next time.  However, none of this makes us feel any less disappointed each time the cards crumble and we’re left with the pieces once again.

Some people think their kids' lives are no different than ours.  But I would say that most families are building with Legos.  Yes, they can still get knocked over and have to rebuild from time to time, but someone merely bumping the table or the slightest breeze hardly phases them.  Even if their “house” gets knocked over, it can be rebuilt fairly quickly.

It may help to picture my kids on a ladder.  If their diets have been under control and they have not had any recent illnesses, it’s as if they’re standing near the bottom of the ladder, and the affects of an offending food will not be nearly as severe.  However, if anything is the slightest bit off, they’re already standing several rungs up the ladder, and any problem that arises could be all that it takes to throw them over the edge.

When Autumn was younger, when something affected her, whether food or illness, everything went downhill at once.  She would revert back to crawling instead of walking, she was unable to communicate, and her sensory processing problems went nuts.  Now, when her “house” gets bumped, there are still signs, but not as severe since we’re able to keep her near the bottom of her ladder much of the time these days.  Winter can be worse for her, but even that’s been a little better so far this year.  I have to watch out for colds or congestion because once it starts, I may not be able to get rid of it until Spring finally arrives.

Silas is a bit more tricky.  He can bounce up and down his ladder very quickly, and once he’s messed up, it usually takes a couple weeks for him to fully recover.  We’re never dealing with just a cold, virus, etc.  We’re always dealing with the current sickness on top of his ongoing health problems.  Any illness, especially if it causes him not to eat as much as usual, aggravates the problems with his digestive system and blood sugar.  Even after everything starts returning to normal, he’s just not himself for a while and can be very irritable.

So, here I am today.  I knew something wasn’t quite right with Silas when he had problems falling asleep last night.  He woke up this morning saying his stomach hurt, and he didn’t want any breakfast.  He also said he thought he was getting a fever.  Not good.  A little while ago, his blood sugar was 67, and his ketones were 0.6.    Both are not terrible - but not good either.  What will happen today?  Will we avoid a crisis?  Will he get worse?  Only time will tell.

In the larger view of things, it doesn’t matter if we feel we’re building our lives out of cards, Legos, or 2x4s.  What really matters is what we’re building on.  Any of these can be knocked down.  When they are, what will you land on?

Matthew 7:24-27 (ESV) states,

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.

 “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”  Psalm 91:1-2 (ESV)

Janel

Gardening in Exile

That gets us to the end of what’s been going on with the kids the last few years.  Believe it or not, I shortened everything quite a bit.  If you’ve been reading, you can tell there have been many ups and downs along the way.  What are we supposed to do during the “down” spots in our lives?

A while back, God brought some verses to my mind.  They were from Jeremiah 29.  At this point, you may already be reciting verse 11, but that wasn’t it.  Verse 11 is the one most often quoted from this chapter, “’For I know the plans I have for you,’  declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

The verses God reminded me of were earlier in the chapter:

 ⁴ This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: ⁵ "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. ⁶ Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. ⁷ Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

You may have noticed that the Israelites were in exile at this point.  Later God tells them that they will be there for 70 years (verse 10).  It would have been so easy for them to not embrace their current situation.  They could have tried to just coast by the next 70 years as they waited on God to deliver them.  You know, the “I’ll do it, but I don’t have to be happy about it” approach.  But that is exactly the opposite of what He told them to do.  Did you notice that?  He instructed them to build houses, plant gardens, and marry.  In verse 6 He directly tells them, “Increase…do not decrease.”

I hope you will stop a moment to take this in.  It is so powerful.  Yes, God had wonderful plans for them (verse 11), but before that came to fruition, they had to endure 70 years in exile – and not simply endure it but find a way to thrive there.

When we are faced with challenging circumstances, we have a choice to make.  We can run for the hills, or we can face the situation and keep moving forward in God’s strength.  Proverbs 24:16 says, “For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity” (NIV).  I believe this is the key to how we do it.  This life will often knock us down.  Being knocked down is not always our fault, but what we do from that point is our decision to make.  Some choose to flee difficulty.  Even if they don’t physically leave, they check out emotionally and just try to get by.  That is not increasing!

Before the difficulties come, we have to make a decision that no matter what, we will continue to follow God and serve Him regardless of the circumstances.  That no matter how many times we get knocked down, we will get up and keep moving forward.  And with each new struggle we face, we again commit, “Yes, Lord, I will trust You even in this.”

Then, at the appointed time, we will suddenly be free to enjoy the wonderful plans God has for us.  But first, we must learn to garden in exile.

Janel

Welcome to Holland

I’ve been sick with the flu the last few days.  I’m at least feeling well enough now to sit at the computer for short periods of time and write.  Mostly I’m laying on the couch with a box of tissues as I watch The Hallmark Channel all day.  Today they seem to have pulled out all of the sad movies about chronically ill children and foster kids just for me.  While preparing to write, I ran across something that I had found some time ago.  And, I decided to share it with you now.  It’s for those of you whose lives are in a place far different from where you’d planned…

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

By Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

May you find a way to enjoy your Holland today.

Janel